Being There
by JenniferJF
Summary: S/J. Jack visits Sam in the infirmary. Each chapter will be a separate visit during or after a different episode, but each chapter reads complete. Angst, fluff, and maybe a bit of gutter.
1. Duty

_A/N: For AstraPerAspera, who said, in a conversation unrelated to the topic of this fic, and I quote, "You can't have too many by-her-bedside fics IMHO". Likely to become the first in a series, but that's really up to the plot stenos._

-o-o-o-o-o-

He hesitated in the doorway, unsure if he should proceed inside. He didn't want to disturb her; he was sure she needed space and time to heal. But as he looked into the room, he saw she was sitting up in the bed. And though she looked impossibly small and frail sitting there in her hospital gown, such a change from the bold and confidant captain she normally was, at least Cassandra's visit had done that much - Sam no longer lay curled up in the fetal position, unresponsive to anything and anyone, the light in her eyes dulled nearly beyond recognition.

That had scared him almost as much as looking into those eyes and knowing it was someone else staring back.

Almost. But not quite.

He had to go in, had to see for himself that she was really okay now. She was his responsibility… He was her commander, after all, and maybe even almost a friend. It was just something he had to do.

Jack stepped forward to Sam's bedside. She looked up at his approach. "Hi, Sir."

"Hey, Sam." He tried to smile, but the darkness under her eyes and the paleness of her skin sent a new wave of worry coursing through him. As a distraction, he held up the bowl in his hands, "Brought you something."

"What is it?" she asked. Her tone was flat, lacking any real curiosity.

Reaching behind him, Jack slid a chair forward across the floor. He sat down in it next to her and presented his offering.

She took it, and glanced inside, "Jello?" she asked. The slight smile on her lips barely touched her eyes, but at least it was something.

He smiled. "Blue," he said proudly. "I've noticed it's your favorite…?"

Her smile grew wider, the lines about her eyes softening. "Thank you," she replied softly.

He shrugged. "No big deal." Although, for the actual real smile finally back on her face, small though it was, he'd have brought her a million bowls of jello. "Anything else I can get you?"

She bit her lip, suppressing a giggle - an actual _giggle_ - and pointed into her bowl with one finger. His heart soared. "Uhm… A spoon?"

"D'oh." Smiling sheepishly, he reached into the front chest pocket of his flight suit and pulled out the spoon he'd tucked in there. He presented it to her with a flourish. "Sorry…"

"Thank you. " Sam took the offered spoon and dug into her jello.

He watched her eat for a minute, her eyes still sparkling with amusement at his antics, a slight smile playing across her lips.

Jack felt better than he had in weeks.

He'd lost people under his command before. But never like he almost had with Sam, having to stand and face someone who looked like her - who was her - yet at the same time really wasn't. And the thought of losing _Sam_, who had more life and energy and sheer _brilliance_ than anyone else he'd ever known, of not having her on his team and at his side, watching his six or vice versa, scared him more than he cared to contemplate.

Sam - and the rest of SG-1- were his responsibility now. He'd just have to take this as a wake-up call and be more careful. Because Jack wasn't going to lose her. Lose any of them. Not again.

She had finished her jello and was reaching to set the bowl down on the nearby table, which was a bit too far to comfortably reach. Jack intercepted it wordlessly, taking it from her hand and setting it down for her.

Sam opened her mouth to speak, probably to thank him again, but a yawn snuck out instead. "Sorry, Sir. Guess I'm more tired than I thought."

He stood and smiled down at her. "It's okay, I've got million things I need to be doing right now, anyway." He gestured with his thumb towards the door. "I should be going. And you need to _sleep_."

She smiled, and this time it lit her whole face, "Yes, Sir." Jack turned to leave, but Sam grabbed his forearm before he could step away from the bed. Her touch was warm, heating his skin even through the sleeve of his uniform, and, though her grip was gentle, a request not an order, he couldn't have moved if he'd wanted to. "And, Colonel?"

"Yes, Carter?"

"Thank you, again…." She must have noticed his confusion, because she quickly added, gesturing towards the empty bowl with her free hand, "For the jello…."

"You're more than welcome," he replied. She dropped her hand from his arm, and he tried not to miss the sudden loss of warmth. "Now… Sleep well, Carter."

"Yes, Sir." She was already obeying his 'order', snuggling down into the thin infirmary blanket, getting comfortable for sleep. There was nothing else he could do. Turning, he left the room.


	2. Ergo

If he'd thought about it, he'd have realized there was really no rational reason for his standing outside the infirmary door. Daniel had headed to the lockers as soon as he'd checked out okay, wanting to get home as soon as possible and claiming only slight worry over what the contents of his refrigerator might look like after so long a time spent on base. Teal'c, whose personal life had been disrupted far less than theirs, was busy kel'noreeming. Apparently, Urgo's constant interruptions during his meditation periods had left the big guy needing some serious alone time.

Neither of which explained why Jack was standing outside this door, waiting for Major Carter to get done with her exam. Only… unlike his teammates, he didn't feel the need to rush off alone. Urgo might have been a major pain in their backsides, but still….

Having the team around 24/7 hadn't been all bad. He'd learned Daniel had morning bed-head even _when_ he'd slept in a proper bed and had access to a mirror and also about Teal'c's secret passion for 1950's movie musicals. Well, not so secret anymore, though they'd all promised _never _to bring that up again. As for Carter… After the fourth straight night spent losing at poker, she'd firmly resolved to never play the game again and had insisted they find something else to do with their evenings. Which was fine by him, because he could sometimes win at Monopoly, and as they'd soon discovered -- for Daniel generally preferred reading to games and Teal'c spent hours each night in the gym -- he and Sam were pretty evenly matched at chess.

Yeah, he was gonna miss those chess games. And the Monopoly. And having others to complain to about the crap that was on TV. And never having to eat alone….

He wasn't ready - really - to go back home to his empty house. At least, not yet.

The door opened and Doctor Fraiser stepped out into the hall. "Colonel? Everything alright?" she asked.

He shoved his hands deep into his pockets. "Yeah. No problem. Just waiting to make sure Carter's okay…?"

She smiled, a slightly knowing smile Jack refused to consider too closely, and answered, "Sure is. You can go in now if you'd like."

"Thanks, Doc," he replied and stepped through the now opened door into the infirmary room behind her.

Major Carter was standing next to the bed pulling on her uniform overshirt. She looked up at his approach. "Hi, Sir."

"Hey, Carter. Doc tells me you're ready to check outta here?"

"Yeah. About time too. I don't know about you, but I'm sick of this place."

He tried to smile. "Oh… yeah. Still…." She was looking at him expectantly, and he took the plunge. "I was just wondering… I'm sure I've got nothing left in the fridge that's fit to eat, and I figure you don't either after all this time, and rather than dealing with all that tonight…" Jack took a deep breath. "Wanna grab something to eat? You know, on the way home?"

She looked a bit surprised. "Together?"

"Yeah. I mean - it's no big deal. I just figured we'd both probably end up ordering take-out anyway, and rather than sitting alone at home… If you don't want to, that's--"

Carter interrupted him with a smile. "No, Sir. That's a great idea. In fact," she admitted, "I wasn't really looking forward to spending the evening at home alone, either."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Tendrils of cigar smoke curled towards the ceiling, mixing with the stale odor of a thousand rounds of beer and the sour sweat of the bar's patrons, many of whom remained at least partly bundled against the chill air outside. Jack barely registered any of it as Sam leaned still lower over the pool table in front of him, siting down the length of her cue, positioning her next shot. The movement stretched her jeans across the tight curve of her ass… Jack leaned back against the bar enjoying the view, opportunities to actually watch Carter's six being few and far between.

She made her shot, though he hadn't been paying enough attention to know how many balls she'd managed to sink, and moved around to the other side of the table. She set-up for her next, gliding the cue smoothly across her hand as she tested the angle. He could see her face now, her blue eyes as focused and intense in the game as they ever were in combat or in her lab. She captured her bottom lip between her teeth, her eyes narrowed, and she slid the stick forward.

Straightening up, her face broke into a radiant smile as she moved to join him at the bar and Jack realized she'd cleared the table. Again. Sam cocked an eyebrow at him, "Well…?"

He couldn't help smiling in return. "So, maybe you were right. Physicists can play pool."

"Yup," she agreed, wrinkling her nose slightly as she grinned at him. "Now, pay up. Sir."

"Yes, Ma'am," he replied and, swiveling in his seat, signaled the bar tender to pass him another beer. It was the second time Carter had won, but Jack didn't mind. Sam was actually having _fun_; beer seemed a small price to pay.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Sam stumbled slightly as they stepped out of O'Malley's. "Ooops…" she giggled. Jack offered her his arm and she accepted, slipping hers though his and leaning on him for support. "Probably shouldn't have had that last beer."

"Last two, probably," Jack corrected.

"Getting smashed in front of your CO… good job, Sam," she mumbled under her breath.

He laughed, "It's okay, Carter. I was buying, remember?"

"Oh… Yeah. Told ya I could play…"

"Yes, you did." Jack didn't even try to hide his delight at this entirely new view of his second-in-command.

She tilted her face to beam up at him. "Never. Doubt me. Again," she ordered.

"Never," he promised.

"Good." He'd been leading her across the parking lot, and it was only now as they were nearing his truck that she seemed to realize they weren't heading towards her car. Sam stopped walking, a confused look crossing her features as she pointed at it. "That's your truck…," she observed.

"Yup," he agreed. "I'll drive you home.

"Good idea," she agreed. "Too drink to drive. I mean…"

Jack laughed again and stepped forward to open the door for her. "Get in the truck, Carter. You can come back to pick up your car tomorrow."

"Yes…Sir," she said, and giggled. Jack was suddenly terribly glad she never - or almost never - giggled in uniform. He was finding it incredibly… distracting.

Sam held out her hand to him, and he took it to help her climb up into the truck. Going around to the other side, he got in next to her.

He started the engine and maneuvered out of the parking lot. As they neared the turn-off to the freeway, Jack asked, "Is it faster to take the interstate or stay on 23?"

When Sam didn't answer, he spared a glance at her. She was leaning against the passenger side window, her usually animated features grown soft in sleep. The moonlight streaming through the window cast her face in an almost ethereal glow. Smiling, Jack stayed on 23. He suspected it was the longer route, and he suddenly found himself in no great hurry to reach their journey's end.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Jack pulled his truck to the curb in front of Sam's house and reached over to gently shake her shoulder. "Hey, Carter. We're here."

Her eyes opened and she looked around, taking in her surroundings. "Already?"

"It's been twenty minutes," he observed.

"Really? I must have fallen asleep."

"Ya think?"

She grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, Sir."

He smiled back. "No problem." Then, gesturing towards her house, he added, "Think you can make it in okay?"

"I'm not that drunk," she protested.

Probably not. "Well… then. See you on Monday?"

"Yeah. Have a good weekend, Sir."

"You too, Carter."

She opened the passenger-side door and slipped out of the truck. Before closing the door, she turned back up to look at him. "And, Sir?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks. I had a good time."

"Me too, Carter.

She stood there for another long moment, looking up at him without speaking. Then, with a "Night, Sir," she quickly stepped back and slammed the truck door. He waved, and she started up the path to her house.

He watched as she reached her door, fumbled briefly with her purse and her keys, and slipped inside. If it had been any other woman on the planet, he would have walked her to her door. Only, of course, this wasn't just any woman, it was _Carter _…

And Air Force Majors were more than capable of walking themselves to their doors.

He pulled out from the curb and started for home. It was going to be a very long three days until Monday.


	3. Crystalline

General Hammond had asked to see him in his office, but Jack couldn't help pausing on his way out of the infirmary at Carter's bedside. She lay unmoving, still and on her back. Doc Fraiser had repeatedly assured him Sam was fully conscious now and simply sleeping, but he couldn't tell by looking. She seemed so fragile lying there in the bed.

Since they were alone, Jack let himself watch her - really look at her - for what felt like the first time in ages. Somehow, despite her paleness and the hair matted against her forehead, she was still incredible. Her lips were slightly parted in sleep, and he found even the laugh lines around them beautiful - an echo of her waking smile.

God, he'd missed that smile.

As though sensing his gaze, Sam stirred in her sleep and opened her eyes, looking straight up into his. Completely unsurprised to find him standing there, she said, "Hi, Sir."

"Hi. How ya doin', Carter?"

She paused for a moment as though taking inventory before answering, "Good… I think."

He smiled. "That's what the doc said, too."

"What happened?" she asked.

"Those… Nintendo things?" he began, pausing for a moment.

"Leptons," she corrected. The corner of her mouth twitched upwards in a poorly concealed smile.

Mission complete, he continued, "Yeah, those. I guess there were too many of them… Or something. Anyway, you passed out, and Teal'c and I got you back through the 'gate with us. You've been asleep for nearly a day."

She thought for a minute, trying to remember. "You carried me out, didn't you?"

He'd been hoping she wouldn't remember that. Not that _he_ would ever forget. He didn't get a whole lot of opportunities to get quite that close to his second. "Yeah…." he admitted.

Her smile grew wider. "Then, thanks, Sir."

Maybe her remembering wasn't so bad after all. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets and rocked back on his heels, hoping she wouldn't notice the stupid grin he was trying desperately to control. "Sure. No problem…. I mean, you know…." He shrugged. "Just doing my job." A shadow crossed her features, and just for a second her smile seemed to waver. Jack back-pedaled quickly. "I mean… Not that I wouldn't have…. That is… You know…."

She grinned. "Yeah… I know."

God, he had _really_ missed her. Not even trying to hide his smile anymore, he said, "Good. Then, if you're okay," he waited for her nod before continuing, "I was supposed to be in Hammond's office ten minutes ago."

"Oh," she paused, and he could see her searching her memories, "Daniel! Is he…?"

"No idea. He didn't come back with us. Teal'c returned to search and brought back that skull thing, but…" He shrugged. "So far, the egg heads got nuthin'."

Sam started to sit up in bed. "I should probably --" She winced, and grabbed her head.

"Carter?"

"I… Uh…" She winced again as she tried to move.

He helped her lay back down on the bed. "Maybe you shouldn't…?" he suggested.

She smiled wanly up at him, her eyes glazed with pain. "Yeah, probably not the best idea. Still, I should be doing _something_. Daniel…"

"Will not be helped by your ending up a heap on the floor," he interrupted. "Trust me, I know. Now, I'm going to go see what General Hammond wants, and you, Major, stay here and get better. That's an order."

"Yes, Sir."

Jack turned and headed for the door. At the threshold, he turned back to take one last long look at her, lying there in bed awake and alert even if still too weak to move. Satisfied that for the moment there wasn't a thing more he could do for her, Jack left the room.


	4. Downgraded

Jack leaned back against the wall, watching Doc Fraiser work. She shone her light first into Sam's right eye and then her left. Sam's ears were next, followed by a reflex check. Only he was finding it hard to take his eyes off Carter's face. He hadn't yet fully recovered; the terror was still too real, a part of him still certain that if he looked away even for an instant, she'd be gone.

There were some wounds which wouldn't show up on any test.

"Well," Fraiser said to Sam, "I'm going to have to wait for the blood work to be absolutely certain, but the armbands seem to have left no ill effects. It looks like you'll be just fine." She looked over her shoulder to where Jack waited by the door. "That goes for you too, Sir."

He nodded, "Thanks, Doc. Does that mean…" He hitched his thumb towards the door.

"As far as I'm concerned. Just, remember, Hammond ordered you to stay on base until tomorrow when I'll have had a chance to check over the blood tests."

Sam nodded and slid off the exam table as Doctor Fraiser headed across the room to check on another patient "So, Carter. Looks like we're stuck here for another night," he said once they were alone.

"Seems so, Sir."

"I'm headed down to the commissary. Care to join me?"

"I…," she hesitated for a minute, vaguely uncomfortable, and he tried not to let his desperation show. Her expression softened as she looked at him, and he knew that he had failed. "Yes, Sir. I'd like that."

"Good, then…" he gestured towards the door, and she moved towards it. Jack fell in beside her and together they left the room.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Carter's temporary quarters weren't between the commissary and his quarters. They were, in fact, in the opposite direction. He knew that. He also knew that she knew that and he was _certain_ that she knew that he knew that, too. It still didn't stop him, as they were getting up from the table after eating, from offering to walk her back to her quarters. "After all, they're on the way…."

She gazed at him for a long moment, her eyes searching his. Finally, she answered with a nod and a gentle smile, "Sure."

They walked in silence to her quarters. At her door, she slipped her keycard through the lock and pushed it open. She paused on the threshold, turning to look up at him. "Well, I'm home. I guess."

He tried to smile. "Yeah."

"See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah… Well…," Try as hard as he might, he couldn't think of any reason to keep her from disappearing into her room. 'Night then."

A wave of sadness washed over her features, gone almost as quickly as it had come. "'Night, Sir." She paused, then continued, "And, Sir… Thanks."

"For…?"

She smiled, though there was as much regret as joy in the expression. "Seeing me 'home'."

He returned her smile with a matching one of his own. "Any time, Carter."

And then, after another long look, Sam stepped quickly into the room, closed the door behind her, and was gone. Leaving Jack standing there, alone, in front of her door.

"Evening, Sir."

Jack had no idea how long he'd been standing there; he hadn't heard the other man's approach. Trying to hide his surprise, he returned the greeting. "Evening, Airman."

The man continued down the hall without pausing. Turning away from the door, Jack followed after him.


	5. Euthanasia

Jack fell in beside Sam as she stepped out the door. He hadn't, of course, been waiting for her outside the infirmary. He'd walked down there with Teal'c on a mission from General Hammond. The fact it had also given him an opportunity to check on Major Carter's condition had simply been an added bonus.

"Hey, Carter."

She nodded at him. "Sir."

He gestured to her bandaged hand. "How's the burn?"

Sam held it up for his inspection. "Not too bad, really."

They paused in their walk through the halls as he caught her hand in his. Turning it over, he gently probed the bandages with one finger. She flinched slightly, and he stopped. "Not too bad, huh?" he asked, catching her eye.

"Well, it could have been a whole lot worse," she admitted, dropping her gaze from his.

"Yeah, Teal'c and I just came from the Control Room. That place is _fried_." He tried to smile.

Sam wasn't fooled. She looked back up at him, slipping her hand from his as she did so. He tried not to miss the feel of her fingers, soft and warm as they'd curled against his palm "It's just a burn, Sir. I'm okay."

"Yeah…," he repeated, searching her eyes for the truth. She held his gaze. Satisfied she really was alright, he moved on to the real reason he'd gone to find her, "But, hey! Hammond's sent all the data over to your lab for analysis. Daniel's waiting for you there, now. So there's that…"

Her face lit up, the injured hand forgotten. "Really?" She started walking forward again and he went with her.

"Yup."

He could tell her thoughts were already in her lab. "Only… if the computers are still down, it's not going to be easy, we'll have to…"

Her voice trailed off, and she bit her lip, catching her grin between her teeth. She must have noticed the glazed look on his face, because she apologized, "Sorry, Sir… It's just…"

He smiled. Even though he couldn't understand it, her enthusiasm was contagious. "It's okay, Carter. Whatever turns you on." She froze, and he realized what he'd said. "I mean… You know…"

This time the giggle escaped. "It's okay, sir. I understand." Sometimes, he got the distinct impression she was patronizing him. By now, though, they had reached the elevators. She punched the button. "You coming?" she asked.

"No, I'll wait for the next one. I gotta get back to my office. Hammond has promised to skin me alive if I don't reduce that mountain of paperwork on my desk to at least something closer to a hill. "

She raised an eyebrow at him, "Skin you alive?"

"Well…" He waved his hands vaguely in the air. "Something like that…"

She laughed again. "Okay, Sir." The elevator door opened and she stepped inside. "Well, see you later."

"Yup."

Then the door closed, and she was gone.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Sam lay under the thin infirmary blanket, connected through a thousand wires and tubes to the very best medical technology the planet had to offer, the room silent around her save for the beep of the computers and the ever-present hum of the base. Yet Jack would swear he could hear her heartbeat, low and steady. And the soft whisper of air passing through her lips: in-and-out… in-and-out…. Her chest rising and falling with each breath.

She was alive.

Now.

But it had been so close…

_He_ had come so close….

Again.

And it would have been his fault, too. Again. Only this time, he had actually pulled the trigger himself, choosing in that instant he'd looked into her eyes and seen someone else staring back at him - someone absolutely _malevolent _- to end her life. He'd had to save the base. To save _Earth_… To save _her_. Because he'd known that, even if some part of Sam remained inside, buried somewhere beneath the entity which possessed her, death had to be preferable to living like that.

Even now, he knew he'd been correct. He'd made the right choice. Only… that wasn't his greatest sin. Not really.

He'd nearly killed her - killed _Sam - _but not by pulling the trigger on that Zat. Because he knew now why the entity had been so interested in him, following _him_ with the cameras while ignoring nearly everybody else. It had read his records; it knew he was its greatest threat.

No, the entity hadn't targeted Sam.

It had targeted _him_. Sam had simply been collateral damage, the threat to her nothing more than a means to neutralize him and the threat he represented. And it was his fault because he'd let it see. Shown it he cared about her… that she was special to him not simply as an Air Force officer or a member of his team, but because she was _Sam_. So it had attacked not him, but her.

It was his fault.

And he'd be damned before he'd let it happen again.

Which was why he had to say goodbye to her now, before he hurt her again or someone else hurt her because of him. Or, at the very least, he had to say goodbye to the idea that she was something more to him… that she might one day _be _something more to him… than simply Major Carter, his second-in-command.

He had to stop loving her before he lost her completely. They'd been lucky this time. They wouldn't be as lucky again.

And he knew now, too, that if the worst did happen…

He couldn't live through that again. He wouldn't. Because he'd survived it before, once. Barely. Struggling to get through every day with a hole in his life - in his _heart_. Slowly bleeding away until only a shadow remained of what he had been.

A shadow she had saved him from, brought him back from… Made him, finally, really _feel_ again. Despite himself.

Damn her. Damn it all.

He couldn't….

He had to let her go. Now. Before it really was too late. It was better for her that way. She'd get over him and move on, he was certain of that, and maybe even find real happiness with someone else. Someone who could actually give her everything she deserved. Someone without all his dark baggage.

And eventually, he was sure, he'd get over her too. One day, the very thought of her not being his wouldn't be a knife twisting in his gut; he wouldn't crave her smile like he needed oxygen.

No. He'd be fine. He was sure of it. One day.

At least he'd still have Major Carter, standing at his side and watching his back. And he'd rather have her like that, with him like _that_, then risk losing her completely.

Yeah. He'd be okay. They both would.

Jack stood up and stepped toward the door.

"Sir?" Her voice was paper thin, barely more than a whisper. It nearly broke him. But at least it was _her_s.

He forced the air out of his lungs, remembering to breathe. Turning back to the bed, he asked, "Yeah?"

"Don't go…"

"Carter, I've got…"

"Please? I don't want to be alone. Not again…" Her blue eyes pleaded with him more eloquently than words ever could. Defeated, he sat back down.

"Sure, for a little while."

She smiled faintly. "Thank you, Sir."

He returned her smile as best he could, hoping she wouldn't read the truth in his eyes. At least not yet. "No problem."

Sam closed her eyes again and, a very few minutes later, fell back asleep. Jack sat with her, watching her for a few more precious minutes, letting himself have one last long _real_ look at her. Drinking in the sight of her. Then, as quietly as he could, he stood up and left the room.


	6. Passageways

He'd meant to get down to the infirmary hours earlier, but Hammond had detained him after SG-1's 0800 debriefing to get his input on several planets the science guys wanted access to. Afterwards, Sergeant Martin had caught him in the corridor with a list of items Jack had requested which could not _possibly_ be obtained and suggestions for alternates which required approval yesterday if they were to be had this millennium. And while he'd been in his office working on that, Daniel had stopped in with his own list of planets which he wanted Jack to bring to General Hammond as possible sites of abandoned Ancient settlement…. It was well after 1400 before he'd finally managed to get free.

He figured she'd still be there, though. He'd heard it from Teal'c who'd heard from Daniel, and Daniel had heard it from Janet herself. Cassie was going home tonight. It felt like she'd been recovering forever. He'd swing by the infirmary on his way out and volunteer to bring some pizzas over to Janet's later that evening. Some sort of celebration seemed in order.

Only Cassie wasn't alone. She had company. Jack paused in the doorway, watching. Unwilling to interrupt.

Major Carter sat with Cass, perched on the edge of the hospital bed, a game of travel chess spread open between them. Carter was turned slightly away from him, but he could still see the intensity of her expression even in profile, her bottom lip caught between her teeth as she concentrated on the game in front of her. She reached out, grasping one of the small chessmen and sliding it forward across the board.

Janet stood nearby, watching over the two as they played, revealing a glimpse of the mother hen usually kept hidden beneath her Napoleonic exterior. For a precious moment Jack let himself stand there, silently watching the three of them, wishing he could step forward and join them, but knowing there really was no place for him in the small makeshift family before him.

Quietly, so as not to disturb them, Jack turned and left the infirmary.

He had barely traveled twenty meters before the clatter of boots in the passageway behind him warned that he had not gone unobserved and the 'Sir!" she called out to him would have confirmed her identity even if the sound of her footsteps hadn't done so already. Steeling his features, he turned to face his pursuer.

"Hey, Carter," he said, thrusting his hands deep into his pockets and trying to look casual. Because he hadn't actually been running from her, of course. "What's up?"

"Cassie saw you in the infirmary…?"

"Yeah… I… Uhm… Remembered I had some paperwork…."

Her smile wavered. Jack had to agree it was a fairly lame excuse. "Oh… Okay." She took a deep breath before continuing. " It's just… Janet is having sort of a party this evening for Cassie. Nothing big - just pizzas and beer for the grown-ups - but Cassie was sort of hoping you could stop by…?"

He tried not to pay attention to the nervous flutter of her hands in front of her as she tried to explain, or the thinly veiled hope in her eyes as she scarcely breathed, awaiting his reply. None of that mattered. "Oh, I'd love to, Carter, really I would, only I sort of have other plans. You know…."

Her face fell. "Oh… Of course. Saturday night, right, Sir? I should have… I mean…." Her voice faltered into nothing and she took another deep breath before continuing, "I'll let Cassie know, okay?"

Jack was certain his answering smile could fool no one. "Sure, Carter. Thanks."

She nodded. "No problem, Sir. Have a good evening."

"You, too."

Carter nodded again. Then, turning quickly, she hurried back down the hall, but not before Jack caught a glimpse of the unshed tears in her eyes. He'd been considering going ahead and picking up beer and pizza for himself anyway, but now he could probably skip the pizza; he seemed to have lost his appetite. But he was gonna need more beer.

Turning his back on the infirmary, Jack continued his interrupted journey down the hall.


	7. Imperfect Tense

Jack poked his head around the infirmary room door, the overly cheerful smile on his face growing more genuine when he actually saw her, confirming for himself what Doc Fraiser had told Hammond. There were no tubes and no wires - not even an IV. Other than a slight paleness, and the undeniable fact she was in a hospital gown in an infirmary bed, there didn't seem to be a thing wrong with her.

"Hey, Carter," he said.

She looked up from the book she'd been reading. "Oh. Hi, Sir."

He crossed the space between them to stand next to her bed. "How ya doin'?"

"Pretty good, Sir." As she spoke, she started to sit up a little straighter in the bed but stopped abruptly, wincing at the movement.

"That was some fall, Major," Jack pointed out.

Her lips curved upwards, but the smile failed to reach her eyes. "Yeah."

He reached behind himself and pulled up a chair. Sitting down, he began to explain, "I hate to do this, Carter… But Hammond sent me down to talk to you. He's got a call from the Pentagon… They wanna know what happened out there. He tried to stall them, to explain you were stuck in here with a possible concussion… But you know suits." He didn't tell her that he suspected Kinsey was behind the urgency of the 'request'. Though, from the flash of understanding followed by quick anger which crossed her face, he didn't have to.

"They don't care, do they, Sir?"

"Excuse me?"

"A good man almost certainly died today, saving my… saving _all_ of our lives… from the Aschen, and they don't even _care_. All they want to know is how they can spin what happened to their benefit. It's just so…" Her hands flailed briefly over the thin blanket as though physically grasping for the right word.

He smiled gently at her. "Wrong? Unfair?"

"Fucked up," she finally answered, nearly spitting the words out. Then, realizing what she'd said, she glanced up at him sharply, her eyes growing wide as saucers. "Oh… Sir… I didn't…"

Jack chuckled. "It's okay, Carter. I think that sums it up nicely. At least, in the case of Kinsey, I'm certain it does."

This time, the smile reached her eyes. "Yeah, I guess maybe it does."

He leaned forward in his chair, "So… Wanna tell me what happened so I can get these guys off our asses?"

She took a deep breath before beginning. "Well, I did just as Daniel suggested, handing them the paper to read. As soon as he said the word 'Sterility,' it was obvious we'd been right. The Aschen left the room, and next thing we knew, they were dialing the gate below the harvester. They were lowering what looked like a bomb, and I rigged a rope to get us down first, but before the Ambassador could follow…" Carter paused, a brief look of pain crossing her features at the memory. A look he knew had little to do with her fall through the gate.

Not that it was any of his business. Not any more. In fact, it had _never_ been his business. She'd done her job and completed her mission. That was all that mattered to him. In fact, he had liked seeing her happy.

Really.

Just like he hated seeing her like this, now.

"What happened?" he prompted before she could sink any further into her pain.

"The Aschen must have seen him… I saw them fighting… and he told me to go…"

"So you went."

"Yes, Sir," she admitted as though it were a failing.

"You did the right thing, Carter."

"Yes… Sir," she said, staring intently at something on the blanket in front of her.

"Carter…" This time, he waited for her to look up and make eye contact before continuing, hoping she could read the pride on his face as he said, "You did good, Major."

She searched his features for several long moments. Finally appearing satisfied he spoke the truth, she smiled tentatively. "Thank you, Sir."

"No, Carter. Thank you." He patted the side of the bed before standing up. "And now, since I should have enough to keep the shark's at bay - at least for a little while - I should probably be heading back and leaving you to get some rest…"

She opened her mouth to protest.

He held up a finger, silencing her. "That's an order, Major."

She smiled again, "Yes, Sir."

"Good. I'll be back to check on you later, though…?"

"Yes, Sir. I could do with some company." She rolled her eyes dramatically. "You know this place."

"All too well… Till then…." And, with a final wave, he turned and left the room.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

He'd thought he'd been doing well - really - believing he'd just about gotten her out of his system. That she'd become little more to him than what a subordinate and close teammate should be.

Then she was gone - missing - and he'd felt the fear and terror of her loss. Again. Only, in the heat of the search itself there'd been no time to think. He'd simply sought desperately, every energy and effort intent simply on getting her back. No time to think about anything else - to dwell on what his drive to find her _meant._

Until he'd stepped into the room and seen her lying on the hospital gurney and understood, even in his initial scan of the scene, that he'd been only mere moments from being too late. From losing her completely and forever and it had taken all his self-control to keep from tearing the men who held her apart limb from limb.

That's when he had truly known.

He stood next to her now, helping her undo the cuffs binding her to the bed on which she lay. Her leg was warm beneath his palm… soft and alive and _there_. He glanced down at his hand resting on her shin… Holding onto her as though afraid she might vanish. As though she might not be real. He jerked his arm back to his side hoping she hadn't noticed. He might now know he couldn't change how he _felt_, but that still didn't mean he could let it effect what he did.

Jack had seen the end of that path before. There was no way in hell he was ever going to go there again.

Sam slid to the floor next to him and he passed her a pistol. After clearing and cocking it, she fell into her place at his side. It might not be everything he wanted - he could admit that now - but it would be enough. And it was a hell of a lot better than nothing at all.


	8. Purgatory

"C'mon, Doc…. Can't you hurry this up? Carter and that McKay guy are about to use their big magnet thing on the 'gate. I'd sorta like to be up there…"

The infuriating woman continued to probe and poke mercilessly at his knee as she asked, too casually, "Why? To pick up the pieces?"

"Ah… Carter told you, then?"

She smiled enigmatically. "That she doesn't think it'll work? Yeah… She told me." Then she touched - something - and it hurt like hell. Jack tried to conceal his grimace but Fraiser glanced up at him anyway, eyes narrowing in suspicion. "That hurt?"

"Uhm… No?"

She shook her head and went back to torturing him. Pressing gently on his inner knee, she glanced up at him, "How' bout this?"

That time he couldn't hide his wince. "Uh…" he managed through gritted teeth.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." She straightened up, sighing as she took off her gloves. "Well…. It's getting better, but it ain't healed yet, Sir."

"How long?"

She looked at him pointedly. "That'll depend on what you do with it… Colonel."

He smiled sheepishly, "Yes, Ma'am."

As he was sliding off the exam table, the overhead claxon blared to life and the disembodied voice of General Hammond spoke from the speaker on the wall, "Medical team to the Control Room. " The room around him dissolved into chaos as the doc grabbed her kit by the door and rushed out, a stream of other personnel and equipment following close behind. Jack limped after them, but they had already turned the corner to the elevator before he'd even made it into the hall.

He had to find out what was going on up there. Carter had said - had _known _- this whole plan had been a Very Bad Idea. But Hammond had ignored her protests…. And Jack had just stood there and let him. Even though she had practically begged him to say something - to say _anything_. To back her up. But he'd been too afraid…. To concerned about what it would look like….

He should have been more insistent with Hammond. Tried to get her more time. And now…

If anything had happened to her….

Jack had to find out what was going on up there.

Turning back into the room, he grabbed the phone hanging just inside the infirmary door and pressed the button for the Control Room. "Gate room, Airman Conner."

"Conner? This is Colonel O'Neill. What's your situation?"

"The EM Pulse Generator exploded, Sir. Some sort of feedback through the 'gate. Major Carter managed to get the iris closed but took part of the blast herself in the process. The medical team's up here working on her now."

Forcing himself to suppress the mental image the man's words evoked, Jack managed to ask, "Is the Major okay?"

"Yes, Sir… I think so. They're moving her out to the infirmary now. They'll know more down there."

"Thank you, Airman. O'Neill out." And, releasing the button, Jack broke the connection.

He didn't have to wait long. A few more minutes and a noise outside the room announced their arrival. Seconds later, Carter was wheeled into the room on a gurney. Doc Fraiser was at her side issuing orders to the swarm of technicians surrounding the bed. Jack quickly moved out of their way, retreating to the wall as the oxygen and monitors were set up around the woman still lying motionless on the bed.

But she was alive. The monitors told him that much at least. And she must have really been okay - as he watched, her bedside slowly cleared until only the doc remained. After a final check of a screen and a notation in the chart she hung on Carter's footboard, she also stepped away.

"Hey, Doc."

At his words, Janet turned back to look at him. "Sir… Sorry. Didn't see you there."

He nodded toward the bed. "How's…"

She smiled gently at him. "She's fine, Sir. Took a bit of a jolt when that device exploded but, except for a minor burn on her palm, she should be perfectly alright." He tried not to let his relief show, but he could practically feel the doc's gaze as she looked at him. As she looked _through_ him. "You can stay if you like," she offered. "She'll be happy for the company when she wakes up…" Her tone was far too casual, and Jack knew he hadn't fooled her at all.

He glanced down at Carter lying next to them in the bed looking so small and frail - so _fragile_ - surrounded by all those machines. Hooked up to all those monitors. There was nothing he wanted more than to stay. To just _be_ there.

Which was stupid. And pointless. And _dangerous_….

And it wasn't as if there was a damn thing he could do there anyway.

Jack tore his gaze away from the still form on the bed. "No, I'd better not." Then, gesturing toward the door, hoping the doctor hadn't noticed the catch in his voice, he added, "I should probably get back up to the Control Room…"

"Probably," she agreed, but her smile had grown strangely compassionate - almost as though it were him lying there in the bed instead of Carter. He started to leave, to beat a hasty retreat from the doctor and her perceptive gaze, but she called out to him before he could reach the door. "Oh…. And, Colonel?"

He turned back to look at her, "Yes?"

"I'll let her know you were here."


	9. Shifting

She'd tripped slightly on her way down the ramp, and only his hand on her arm had steadied her. Nevertheless, after General Hammond had dismissed SG-1 and what remained of the Russian team with an order to be back at 0830 the next morning for a full debriefing, she'd actually set out in the direction of the lockers.

"Major Carter?" he called after her.

She turned back to look at him, her face appearing even more pallid under the harsh lights of the SGC than it had back on the planet. "Yes, Sir?"

He cocked his thumb in the opposite direction from the one in which she'd been headed. "The infirmary's that way…"

"Sir? I don't need…." He raised one eyebrow at her, and her voice trailed off in defeat. "Yes, Sir."

He fell into step next to her as she took off in the indicated direction.

"Sir, I don't need an escort," she protested.

As pale as she was, he wasn't too sure of that. "Probably not," he agreed. It was easier than arguing. Or pulling rank. "Still, after what Nirti did to you, I think we'd better let Doc Fraiser be the judge of that."

"Really, Sir, I'm…"

She tripped again, stumbling into him and Jack caught her elbow, keeping her upright. "Fine?" he finished.

Defeated, she smiled ruefully. "Okay. Maybe not so much."

He returned her smile, trying to ignore the fear that gripped him again at this reminder of how close he'd come… they'd all come… to losing her again. He really should let her get down to the infirmary by herself. It wasn't that much further; he was sure she'd be fine on her own.

Because he'd made the same mistake back there on the planet… He still had to be careful....

But instead of pulling her arm away, Carter leaned into him, accepting his offer of support. And, really, what was wrong with that? After all, she was on his team and under his command and that made her his responsibility. He couldn't have one of his people falling over in the corridor.

Jack shifted his grip on her, taking even more of her weight himself. "Good. Now, let's get you to the infirmary."

She nodded, and together they continued down the hall. Carter broke the silence a few moments later. "Thank you, Sir."

"For what?"

"Insisting I get checked out."

"Just doing my job, Carter."

She made an odd little sound in response, half sigh, half mirthless chuckle. "Yeah, I know," she finally replied, her voice so low he had to strain to hear it. Then she lapsed into silence, saying nothing more until after they had reached the infirmary, proving more than anything else just how tired she really was.


	10. Inertia

A few paces from the 'gate room, Jack asked the question which had been on his mind since first seeing her. Gesturing towards her injured limb, he asked, "So… the arm…?"

She shrugged, dismissing it. "Nothing…. No big deal."

He wasn't fooled. "Yet, the sling," he observed.

Carter paused for a moment before answering. When she did, her voice was casual. Maybe a little too casual. "Well, one of the super soldiers managed to get onto the ship with us and knock me down before we could take him out."

"And by knock you down you mean…?" He knew the size of those things, and he was trying his best not to imagine what might have happened.

She grinned a bit sheepishly. "Out like a light, yes, sir."

"Carter…."

"I'm fine, sir. Really. It was just for a minute."

"Uh-huh." The woman's brains had been scrambled enough to knock her out and no one thought it important enough to even mention it? His mind made up, at the next corridor junction, Jack turned left.

Carter paused in the process of turning right. "Sir?"

"Infirmary first, Carter. Then lunch."

"Sir… I don't…"

He gave her his best 'don't-argue-with-me-I'm-your-superior-officer' look. Amazingly, for once, it worked.

With a defeated sigh, she turned and followed him down the hall.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

As Janet Fraiser retreated back across the infirmary to see to another patient, Carter slipped off the exam table and turned to Jack. "See?"

He couldn't hide his smile. "Yup."

"Feel better, sir?" She wasn't trying to hide hers, either.

"Yes, thank you."

"Good… And now, if I remember correctly, you still owe me…?"

"Lunch…. Yup." Not like he could have forgotten the promise of lunch with Carter even without the empty space in his stomach a constant reminder. He glanced down at his watch. "However," he observed, "We've got exactly five minutes before your debriefing with General Hammond. How 'bout we go grab a burger somewhere afterwards?"

"Well… I…." Her surprise at the invitation was obvious; they rarely got together off-duty. Not anymore. He couldn't just invite her over for beer and hockey like he could one of the guys. He didn't even think Carter _liked_ hockey. And he _knew_ she didn't like fishing.

But hamburgers… Everyone ate burgers. "C'mon, Carter, you gotta eat…." When she still hesitated, he added, cocking one eyebrow, "I'm buying…?"

It worked; the momentary awkwardness vanished. Laughing, she played along. "Really, sir?"

"Sure. Why not? It _is_ a special occasion after all." He grew suddenly serious. "You did good out there, Carter.

Her smile grew still brighter at his praise. He would have bought her filet mignon. "Thank you, sir."

"My pleasure, Carter."

And it really was.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"Sir… You gonna eat that?" Carter asked, pointing towards his plate.

He glanced down at the abandoned fry she was indicating. "No."

"May I?"

"Be my guest," he replied. She reached forward across the table and snatched the fry off his plate.

"Thanks." She took a bite. "Mhm…"

"You know," he observed, "You could have ordered some yourself."

She finished her mouthful before answering, "I didn't want that many." Then, pointing at another fry, "Can I?"

Laughing, he picked his plate up and handed it across to her, "Here, Carter…."

"I don't want…" He arched an eyebrow, and she gave in, reaching to take the plate from him. "If you're sure…"

"Take it."

She did, and set it down in front of her. He watched as she dipped one of his fries into the pile of ketchup he'd left on the plate and popped it into her mouth. After she'd chewed and swallowed, she observed, "This was a good idea. Much better than lemon-chicken at the commissary."

Sitting across from her, watching as she dipped and chewed yet another fry, he couldn't have agreed more. "Yup."

He thought he'd kept his tone neutral. Professional. But she glanced up sharply at him, searching his face for a moment before ducking her head back down, catching the beginnings of a grin between her teeth. "Then again," she observed after a minute, a smile still lingering at the corner of her mouth as she looked back up at him. "What isn't?"

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

He watched her cross the parking lot and, with a final wave back at him, get into her car. It felt wrong, somehow, watching her leave like that. Watching her drive away without him. If it had been anyone else…

But it wasn't anyone else.

It was _Carter_.

He was her commander… her mentor. Her friend. And he couldn't imagine his life any other way, without her at his side watching his six….

Without the chance to watch hers.

Smiling to himself at the thought, Jack unlocked the door of his truck and climbed into the cab. He might be going home alone tonight, but she'd be there when he got to work the next morning. And all the mornings after that.

It might not be everything, but at least it was something.

And that was a hell of a lot better than nothing at all.


	11. Illusions

He paused outside the infirmary room door, hesitating just one more minute. Giving himself just a few more precious seconds before going in to her.

Before making it real.

Because he loved her. He knew that now. In fact, if he were honest with himself, he had known it for a very long time. But since Teal'c had called him on it by pointing out Jack's despair at thinking Carter was truly gone for good, he could no longer simply ignore it.

Yet he couldn't do anything about it, either, because nothing had _changed_. She was still as out-of-reach as she had been on the other side of that.…

Besides, what could he offer her, really? Even if he switched teams… or she did… and they could truly be _together, _what kind of life was that? Either one of them or both of them gone off world nearly all the time - gone off world apart from each other.

And as much as it killed him to see her in danger… To _send_ her into danger… He knew with an absolute certainty _not _being there was much, much worse. Her recent MIA on the Prometheus had certainly reminded him of that.

Sometimes, he wondered how Sara had put up with it for as long as she _did_. Because he knew he couldn't. The terror in not knowing… of fearing the worst… And the pain in starting to believe that maybe, this time, she was really…

No. He couldn't survive that. Not again.

So he had to let her go. And this time, he had to _really_ let her go. Completely and totally, once and for all.

Which meant, in a way, he should be grateful. Maybe… as much as it hurt… this was the best thing that could have happened to him. And he _knew_ it was the best thing that could have happened to her.

He braced himself, straightening his shoulders, and stepped into the observation room. She was sitting there, all alone in the semi-dark, watching as _he _slept in the room below. Jack knew the surgery had been successful and the other man's recovery would be short. In a very few hours…

Carter must have heard him enter the room. Turning to look at him, she said, sounding only slightly surprised at finding him there, "Hey, sir."

"Hi, Carter."

"Sir, would you like to sit down?" she asked, pointing towards the empty chair next to her.

"Oh… no… I have to…" he gestured vaguely towards the door behind him. "You know… stuff."

She smiled slightly, but there was no real joy in the expression. Which was only reasonable considering the man lying there in the room before them. "Yeah. Stuff." Then, biting her lip slightly, she continued, "Look… Sir… About what happened… I didn't tell him… I mean… I couldn't have known…"

Despite everything, he couldn't help but smile at her confusion. "It's okay, Carter. In fact, that's why I'm here."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Hammond checked with Washington and, considering what the man's already seen… Well, they checked him out and have decided the best course of action is to simply come clean."

She was obviously surprised. "Really?" she repeated.

"Yup."

Her evident joy at the news almost made up for everything else. Almost. "That's… Wow. You mean I can tell Pete… Everything?"

"That's right, Carter. Everything."

"Oh…" He could practically see the realization of all that meant sink in. She turned back to him after a moment, her smile radiant. "Thank you, sir."

"Don't thank me, Carter. Hammond talked them into it."

"Still… Thank you," she said sincerely.

He forced himself to smile. It was getting easier each time he did it. Eventually, maybe it wouldn't even hurt. "My pleasure, Carter…. And now," he said, moving back towards the door, "I've got all that…"

"Yes. Stuff."

"Yup. See you tomorrow, then, Carter. Briefing with Hammond at 0700 and then, if he approves, fun and games on…." He let his voice trail off as though searching for the name.

She didn't fail him. "P3X-591, sir?" she provided with a slight smile.

He snapped his fingers. "Yes. Right. PSX-what-you-said. Until then, Carter…."

"Yes, sir." She smiled gratefully at him, and he hadn't fully realized until that moment one of _those _smiles could actually hurt. "And thanks again."

Jack didn't answer. He couldn't. He simply nodded once by way of reply and quickly left the room.


	12. Commitments

He arrived in the commissary to find Jacob talking with Daniel and Teal'c. Daniel turned to him as he entered, making it impossible to simply ignore the three of them as he had hoped. "Jack!"

Reluctantly joining the group, Jack asked, "Yes?"

"Jacob just came from the infirmary. Sam's awake."

"Is she okay?" Jack asked before he could think better of it.

"As well as can be expected," the older man answered. "She's asking for you… For all of you," he added, including Teal'c and Daniel in a gesture.

"Oh…. I….Uh… just came down here to grab something to take back to my office. Hammond needs my report…" He'd been avoiding the infirmary all morning. He wasn't about to stop now.

Daniel and Teal'c looked surprised. He tried to ignore Jacob's look. "O…kay," Daniel finally answered. "Well, we'll see you later, then?"

"Oh… Yeah. Sure. I'll stop by when I can," he promised, knowing it for a lie even as he said it. But it wasn't like she'd really want him there any more, anyway.

As Daniel and Teal'c hurried off, Jack turned towards the commissary line. Jacob caught his elbow before he could move. "Jack? I wanted to get a chance to talk to you."

"Yes?"

"Maybe you heard? I'm not going to be around for awhile."

"Yeah. I heard. We're gonna miss you. Selmak too… believe it or not." He tried to smile.

Jacob was clearly not buying it. His eyes narrowed slightly as he watched Jack. "Take care of her for me, will you? All of you?"

Jack snorted. "She hardly needs _us_…"

"Jack."

He looked the other man straight in the eyes. "Yes, I will. _We_ will." He tried to smile, hoping Jacob wouldn't look too closely. "It's what we do, after all."

Jacob held his gaze for a long moment longer. Then, seeming satisfied with what he'd found, he nodded and smiled. "Good. Well… take care of yourself, too, Jack. I'd sorta miss the noise if…"

His own smile feeling more genuine than it had in weeks, Jack replied, "You too, Jacob. Take care."

Then, after a quick final handshake, Jacob turned and left the commissary, leaving Jack standing there alone.

He'd fulfill that last promise to Jacob and take care of Carter. After all, he was still her commander. Her mentor. Even her friend. It was his _job_.

As for the rest…

She had someone else for that. Now. And Jack was sure he'd take care of her, too.

Shaking himself slightly to clear his head, Jack went to go fill his tray. He had to get back to his desk.

He had work to do.


	13. Moving On

The 'gate room materialized around them in a haze of white. Not immediately recognizing SG1, the startled guards were already pulling their weapons up into position before Jack could order: "At ease." Turning to the rest of his team, he began, "Welcome home, cam--" but stopped abruptly as Carter collapsed against him.

Doctor Weir's voice sounded over the intercom even before he could lower the unconscious major to the cold metal grating of the ramp at their feet. "Medical Team to the 'gate room," rang through the base as the klaxons went off around them.

By the time the medics arrived, minutes later, Jack had ascertained Carter was still breathing and her pulse, though faint, was at least steady. "What happened?" the doctor, whose name he hadn't bothered to remember yet, asked as she knelt down beside him, taking over Carter's care.

"I dunno…," Jack admitted as he stood up and backed away to give the medical team more space to work. "Fifth - one of those human-form replicator things - had her for a couple of days. We have no idea…"

The doctor had clearly only been paying partial attention to his explanation. "Okay… that's fine…. We'll worry about that later." She turned to the nearest medic. "Shannons? Help me get her up onto the gurney…." She paused for a minute while the medic adjusted his position and got a grip on Carter's shoulder. "Okay. On my mark. One… two… three… Go."

They easily lifted Carter up and onto the gurney and within minutes, were wheeling her out. Doctor Weir, who had followed the medical team into the room, turned to Jack as the medics left. "Colonel O'Neill?"

"Yes?"

She motioned towards the departing medics. "Shouldn't you…?

He tried to look as confused as possible - a look he'd thought he'd gotten pretty good at. "What?"

"You were frozen down there in Antarctica for quite some time."

"And?" Because there was no way he was going down to that infirmary. To be stuck there on a bed next to her while the team…

"Shouldn't you…?

No. No way. "I thought you'd need me to brief…"

"Daniel and Teal'c can see to that. I want you in the infirmary. Now."

"But…"

"You can brief me yourself later, Colonel. After you've been checked out by the doctors."

Jack glared at Weir.

She stared impassively back.

Defeated, Jack let out the long slow breath he'd been holding in. "Yes, ma'am," he finally replied.

And he'd thought Hammond was tough.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

He was getting really tired of seeing her like this - lying unconscious in the infirmary, hooked up to a dozen monitors. At least, though, they _had_ gotten her back. She hadn't actually been….

And it was a damn good thing he'd been there. Because even when the others had believed her gone… Even when Thor had been certain she'd....

Yeah. There'd been no way in hell he'd thought for one minute she'd actually blown up on that damn ship.

Not Carter.

And he'd been right.

The doctor approached the side of the bed he was perched on, cutting off his thoughts. "So, Colonel. Ready to get out of here?"

"I'm good to go?" he asked.

"Nothing wrong with you as far as we can see. Those Asgard really are good."

"Yup. Those little grey guys. Best docs in the galaxy--" he broke off, smiling sheepishly as he realized who he was talking to. "Uh… No offense."

The doctor returned his smile, "None taken, Colonel. I know when I'm beat." She paused then, growing more serious as she glanced over her shoulder in the direction of Jack's gaze. Jack tore his eyes away from his unconscious teammate and back to the doc. Too late. "You know, sir… You can stay down here with her if you'd like…?"

He tried to smile. "No. I can't." He slipped off the edge of the bed and gestured vaguely towards the infirmary's exit. "I should probably get back upstairs. Weir's gotta be wondering what's taking so long by now."

The doctor's eyes narrowed slightly as she looked at him. "Okay. If you think so…" And then, "I'll let you know when she wakes up?"

But he was already halfway out the door and didn't have to answer.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

It was late that evening, while he was slowly working his way through the pile of papers, both personal and professional, which had mounted up during his absence, that his phone finally rang.

"O'Neill."

"Colonel, this is Airman Stephens in the infirmary."

"Yes?"

"Doctor Evans asked me to call you, sir. Major Carter's awake."

"How is she?"

"She seems to be doing fine, sir. The doc thinks it was just exhaustion from everything she'd been through. Her body simply needed time to recuperate."

"Good… I mean, thanks for letting me know."

"Should I tell her you'll be down to see her?"

"No… it's late. Let her rest. I'll try to stop by sometime tomorrow."

"Very good, sir. Have a good evening"

"You, too, airman."

Jack hung up the phone. Without even stopping to straighten the paperwork strewn across his desk, he stood up, grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair, and finally headed home.

It had been a _very_ long day.


	14. Facing The Boss

It was red.

_Very _red.

Until he'd taken this job in a fit of what had obviously been complete insanity, he'd actually liked the color red.

Not anymore.

Jack leaned back in his chair - his very _big _chair - without taking his eyes off the phone sitting on the desk in front of him. He sat for several long moments simply staring at it before slowly letting out the breath he'd been holding in.

There was nothing else to be done. It was, after all, better to call him _before_ he called you. Jack had learned that the hard way.

And besides, it wasn't like he had _bad_ news. They… SG1... had managed to not only get the 'gate back from the Trust but to get out safely themselves. So it wasn't like he had anything to apologize for. Having faith in his teammates… his _former_ teammates… wasn't exactly a crime.

Not yet.

Not _exactly_. Cause… there was the little matter of the Trust now having themselves an Al'kesh. But that was a small price to pay for saving SG1. For saving _anyone_. Even the president would have to see that.

Jack sure as hell did.

Taking a deep breath, he reached forward and grabbed the phone off its cradle. It was answered on the second ring. "Yes?"

"Mr. President? This is General O'Neill…."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

The world flashed white and the bridge of the Prometheus materialized around him. Colonel Pendergast stepped forward to meet him. "Welcome aboard, sir."

"Thank you, Colonel." Jack looked around. "Where's SG1?"

"Down in the infirmary, sir. Doctor Mullins was pretty adamant about getting them checked out."

"Why? What was…?"

"Don't worry, sir. It was nothing specific. Teal'c was exposed to the symbiote toxin, and Colonel Carter and Daniel had both been zatted. Pretty standard in those cases." Pendergast shrugged. "Can't be too careful, right, sir?"

"No… you can't."

"General, if you'd like to go down there yourself…?" the other man asked.

Jack pulled his gaze away from the door leading in the direction of the infirmary and back to Pendergast. "No, Colonel. That won't be necessary. Besides, the President was pretty insistent about getting this report in person. And, you know, he's The Boss." He forced himself to smile as he put air quotes around the last two words. "It's not like there's anything I could do down there, anyway."

"No, sir. And I'm sure the doctor would inform us if there was anything wrong."

Jack managed to keep his smile steady. "Yes. Well… If you're ready?" he asked, looking pointedly at the control panel.

It wasn't a retreat. Not exactly.

"Yes, sir." Pendergast looked over his shoulder to the officer at the controls. "Major?"

And, in flash of white, the world dissolved around him once more.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

It was nearly midnight mountain time before Jack got back from Washington. A stack of folders was, predictably, piled on his desk awaiting his return. Sitting down, he quickly scanned through the reports, searching for…

It was there, near the top - the print-out of Colonel Carter's report, with Teal'c's and Daniel's tucked in behind it. She was always quick with her paperwork. Not, of course, that they would have anything better to do during the trip back on the Prometheus.

He cleared a space on his desk and flipped open the report. In the clear, precise style he'd always envied, Carter detailed her own capture and then Daniel's, the chemical attacks on Goa'uld worlds and, finally, Teal'c's coming to their last minute rescue through the 'gate.

He reread that last bit. He couldn't stop himself.

Teal'c's _last minute _rescue.

Jack shut his eyes for a few seconds, trying to suppress the mental image.

Still…

He opened his eyes and read the report again. They had done good, in the end. Maybe they really didn't need him anymore.

And maybe he had even been right to give them that extra time. Maybe that _had_ been the right call and the president was correct that losing the Al'kesh and a hold full of poison had been worth saving their lives.

Only… Jack knew the truth.

He hadn't been thinking about all that when he'd made the call. He hadn't been thinking about anything at _all_.

And that was one hell of a way to run a command.

He'd have to do better next time.

And - dammit - he was certain there would _be_ a next time.

There always was.

Jack slammed the report shut and placed it back on top of the pile. He'd get to it again tomorrow.

He'd get to all of them tomorrow.

God. He hated this. All of it.

His job.

His life.

_Everything_.


	15. Disentangle

The door closed behind her with a soft thud, more imagined than actually heard, leaving him alone in the room. Alone save for her parting suggestion still ringing in his ears: "You could retire…"

As if he hadn't thought of that a million times.

And it wouldn't have even required retirement. He knew that; he'd known that all along. It would be as simple as one or the other of them changing jobs. Changing postings. Moving to any position which took them out of each other's immediate chain-of-command.

If only it were that simple.

If only it _was_ only the Air Force keeping them apart.

Because any change would require moving away or, at the very least, leaving her professionally. Not being there for her when…

Except…

He wasn't there for her. Not anymore. Not _really. _Not in any way that truly _mattered_.

Not in the way she needed him to be.

He'd realized that as she'd stood before him on his back deck, his own pain and despair echoed in her eyes. Written on her face.

And that's when he had _known_.

In his desperate need to avoid pain… to avoid loss… to keep her _safe_… he'd nearly destroyed them both.

Because he'd heard it in her unspoken question, there in his backyard. She didn't know. Not anymore. He'd done such a good job of trying to hide it from himself - from everyone - of trying to deny it even existed, or at least that it _mattered_… that in the end he'd even managed to fool _her_.

He still loved her more than life itself and she had no idea. None at all.

And - damn it - he'd seen it there at his house as clearly as if she'd said it out loud: Carter still loved him, too. And she _needed_ him. Not as her commander, nor as a teammate, nor even simply as a friend. And certainly not as General O'Neill in charge of the entire base.

No.

For some crazy reason, Carter needed him. _Jack._

Yet he was so close to losing her forever. Even though she had never really been his. And he knew he couldn't survive that again. Hell, he wasn't surviving it _now_. Which meant there was only one thing he could do.

Jack left his office and headed to the infirmary.

Her father was dying.

She needed him there.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

He sat where she had left him, watching through the glass as she leaned over her father and kissed his forehead. The monitors surrounding them flat-lined.

Jacob was gone.

A single tear rolled down her cheek to fall onto Jacob's lifeless face; Jack could feel her pain as though it were his own.

It _was_ his own.

Because he'd meant what he'd said. He was hers, now and forever. For _always_.

And so she would never be alone. Not really. Not while he still lived. Even if it meant he might one day lose her…. That he might one day find her gone.

He'd been living with her loss for months. The idea that he could get her back… And not just back, but _really _his in a way he'd hardly dared dream of… He'd forgotten it was even _possible_ to feel this way. In the depth of his despair, he'd almost forgotten it was possible to feel anything else at all.

Still…

Right now she didn't need his joy at finding her suddenly returned from the dead. She didn't even need his love. In the face of her father's loss, she simply needed _him._

Being there with her.

Everything else could come later.

Jack stood up and left the observation room. He walked down the short flight of steps and entered the infirmary room below.

She was still crying.

"Sam?" he asked gently, letting her know she was no longer alone. When she didn't respond, he laid a hand on her shoulder. "Samantha?"

She turned to look at him, cheeks streaked with tears. Her eyes caught and held his; uncertainty and hope danced in their depths. He had never seen her more beautiful.

He opened his arms to her.

She collapsed into his embrace, pouring out her grief in the shelter of his arms.

It was the only answer either of them really needed.

It was the only answer _possible._


	16. Lodgement

Sam giggled.

He loved her giggle.

"Nice try, Daniel," she said, and placed another card from her hand onto the stack on the other man's bedside tray.

"Damn," Daniel replied, and studied his cards for a moment. He was just reaching for another card when Jack stepped forward from where he'd been watching the pair from the infirmary entrance. Daniel looked up from the bed as he approached. "Hi… Jack?"

Sam quickly slipped off the side of Daniel's bed and turned to face him. "General."

Her eyes caught and held his; he curled up the corner of one lip in a slight smile. Officially acknowledging her with a brief nod, he said, "Colonel." Then, turning to the man in the bed, "Daniel. Back at it, I see?"

"Just stopping by to give me a hard time, then?" Daniel countered.

"Unfortunately, no." Jack tugged down the bottom of his blue service dress jacket. "Had to meet with Hank and some rather… irate… members of the IOA. Though for once, I can't really disagree with them…" He shrugged and stuffed his hands into his pants' pockets.

Next to him, Carter shifted uncomfortably, catching her lip between her teeth to prevent the words he knew she was dying to say. Catching her eye, he grinned a bit sheepishly and when she smiled gently back, he knew she'd accepted his unspoken apology.

Daniel, however, oblivious to this exchange and without Sam's concern for his feelings, pointed out, "You might as well say it."

"Say what?" Jack asked just as Carter said, "That's not really…"

Daniel waved a hand from Sam to Jack and then back again. "She was right and you were--"

"Wrong?" Jack interrupted.

Daniel nodded.

"I think we all know that, Daniel," Jack pointed out.

"Yes… but don't you think…"

"No." Sam and Jack both said at the same time.

Jack exchanged glances with Carter. "It's not like it doesn't happen all the time," he pointed out. "And, besides," he pantomimed an explosion with his hands. "A really big bomb is _usually_ a pretty good idea."

"When has it _ever_…" Daniel began, but was cut off when Sam chuckled and rolled her eyes at Jack. He paused for a minute, looking at both of them, before continuing, "Okay. You guys win."

"We _do_," Jack agreed. Then, more seriously, "Just remember that."

Daniel smiled slightly. "Yeah. I'm trying to…"

"Good," Jack said. "Now, the docs tell me you've got to stay here overnight for monitoring. They wanna make sure the effects of the armband have really worn off before they let you out. And _I_ need to get out of _this,_" he flipped his tie by way of example, _"_before someone comes up with a reason for me to stick around this place."

"And I," Sam added, "need to go find something to eat." She looked down at Daniel. "You take care, Daniel. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"You'll know where to find me," he grumbled under his breath. Then, smiling broadly - too broadly, in Jack's opinion - he added, "Have a good night, you two."

"Oh… we will," Jack promised. And, intentionally leaving Daniel with _that_ mental image, he placed a hand on the small of her back and guided Carter out of the room.

Once they were alone in the hall, he dropped his hand and asked, "So… dinner? I was thinking maybe Delaney's or O'Malley's or…"

"Actually… if you don't mind… I was thinking about just ordering in tonight. I'm sorta…" She sighed, and he realized for the first time how tired she really was.

"Rough day?" he asked gently.

"Yeah. I didn't realize how hard it would be…"

"You'll get used to it again," he said quietly.

She paused in the hallway and turned to look at him. "So… General Landry…?"

He was suddenly exhausted himself. "Yeah… Hank wants you back. For the duration, at least. Insists they can't do it without you." And it wasn't like Jack had actually been able to argue against _that_.

"Damn," she muttered under her breath. Then, laying a hand on his arm, she continued, "Look, I'm…"

He shrugged, feeling utterly helpless. "Yeah. I know. Me too…" Only the hallway of the SGC wasn't the right place for this conversation. He tried to smile at her, to let her know he really was okay. Mostly. "Let's talk about it later, okay?"

She smiled sadly at him. He'd stopped being able to fool her at the same time he'd stopped really trying to. "Okay."

He gestured with his thumb in the direction of the men's locker room. "I'm gonna change here. See you later?"

Her expression shifted, the smile spreading across her face and lighting her eyes as she promised, "You betcha."

And suddenly, Jack felt a hell of a lot better himself.

About everything.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Jack looked up from the Showtime movie which was barely keeping him awake at the knock on the hotel room door. He stood up and, after checking through the peephole, slid off the chain and opened the door.

"About time," he observed to the Asian delivery boy standing in the opening.

"Sorry, Mister. Busy night," the kid apologized.

Jack pulled the crumpled check folded up with a couple of bills for a tip from his front jeans pocket and handed it to the guy before taking the bags of food the kid held out to him. At least it was still hot. "Thanks."

"You're welcome, Mister. And thanks for the order." And, with a quick flash of a white-toothed smile, the kid turned and headed back down the hall.

During the exchange, Jack hadn't noticed that the water running in the background had turned off until Sam appeared in the bathroom doorway, wrapped in a hotel terrycloth robe, towel drying her hair. "That the food?" she asked.

Jack settled back down on the suite's sofa and set the bag of food on the table before him. "Yup. Hungry?"

"Starving," she answered. Setting the towel down by the sink she crossed to join him on the sofa. Leaning forward, she helped him open the bags and pull out the food. Inhaling deeply, she observed, "Mhmmm… Chang's. I missed Chang's."

"Me too," he agreed, though given the tantalizing glimpse of cream colored skin he'd gotten as her robe fell open when she'd leaned over, it wasn't really Chang's he was missing at the moment.

She slipped open a white waxed cardboard container filled with General Tso's chicken and, after ripping apart of set of wooden chopsticks, dug into her meal.

He tore his gaze back up to her face as she observed, "At least you could get decent Chinese. Apparently in rural Nevada the definition of 'hot' is: 'slightly less mild than the sand.'"

Opening his own container of Hunan Beef, he started to eat. "So, it's not _all_ bad being back." He'd tried to sound casual, but he was afraid she'd heard the catch in his voice.

She paused, her chopsticks hovering over her food. She had heard; he could almost feel the intensity of her gaze as she looked at him. "I'm not really worried about _me_, you know."

"Can we talk about this later? After we eat?" He'd really hoped to enjoy his meal without thinking about _that. _When she didn't respond, he added, "Please?"

She continued to watch him, those blue eyes seeming to see straight into him.

He shrugged and dropped his eyes, digging intently into his stir fry with his chopsticks, suddenly unable to meet her gaze. "I'll be fine."

"Jack…."

She wasn't going to let him get away with it. He looked back up at her. "It sucks, Sam. I'm not even going to try to deny it. But… you know… I knew what I was getting into…."

"But--"

"The problem with being in love with a National Treasure, you know, is that you can't exactly hang her on your wall."

She looked at him for a minute, her mouth hanging slightly open, before asking, "Did you really just say that?"

"Yeah…" He wasn't sure how he'd expected her to react, but it certainly wasn't like this.

"What the _hell _does it mean?"

He couldn't help but laugh at her obvious shock. "I'm not really sure. Made sense in my head, though."

She cocked her head to one side, eyes narrowing as she looked at him. It was one of those times he could actually _see_ her thinking. Suddenly, her face broke into a radiant smile. "I love you, you know," she said.

"I love you, too…. But… why?"

She looked at him with an odd mixture of surprise and confusion. "Why?"

He laughed. "I mean… Why _now_?" He waved his hands, trying to explain. "You know, why did you _say_ that now?" Fortunately, she already knew he could be a babbling idiot and _most _of the time she seemed to find it endearing.

Her smile grew wider. Score one for the idiot. She set her food down on the table, and slipping his from his hands, set it down next to hers. Then, leaning towards him, she explained, "For _not _trying to hang me on a wall… And," she kissed him lightly on the lips before continuing, her tone dropped so low it was nearly a purr, "For wanting to."

Women - in general - made no sense and this particular woman often made less sense than most. At the moment, she was somehow managing to make even less sense than usual. He opened his mouth to tell her so, but she took it as an invitation. Her lips found his, closing the final distance between them.

The rest of her body followed.

And suddenly, Jack realized he no longer cared about what might possibly happen sometime in the future. He didn't even really care about what could happen _tomorrow_.

Sam was his _now._

After all, now was all that really mattered.

It was all anyone ever had.


	17. Cloaked

The bright afternoon sunlight streamed through his office window. Even after nearly a year, he still hadn't gotten used to having a window that actually looked outside… Though there were days he'd have given anything to be able to look out and see the strangely comforting circle of the Stargate instead of the D.C. skyline.

He'd somehow felt a lot safer out there with his team by his side than sitting alone here behind a desk.

His phone rang. Which was never good, but maybe this time it wouldn't be _too_ bad. He picked it up. He'd learned pretty quickly that if he didn't, they'd just figure out another way to get him anyway.

"General O'Neill."

"Jack, it's Hank."

First names, spoken quietly and without preamble. He'd gotten enough of these calls lately it was getting hard not to recognize them.

He made himself continue to breathe despite the cold knot settling in the pit of his stomach.

Only… SG-1 wasn't out in the field. Sam had called him just last night from the SGC where she'd spent the better part of a week working on that Arthur thing they'd recovered from England. And what trouble could she get into there…?

The knot twisted.

"Hank…?"

It must have been in his voice, because the other man said, "Yeah… Jack. It's Sam."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

She was sitting with her back to the infirmary door, speaking with Dr. Lam. The doctor nodded at something she said, made a note on her clipboard, and moved away.

"So… lost again, I hear," he said from his place at the entrance.

She turned to look over her shoulder at him. Her expression remained impassive, only the sparkle dancing in her eyes betraying her as she calmly answered, "Well… not exactly _lost_. More like temporarily misplaced. Or, more accurately, temporally misphased."

He couldn't quite contain the smile tugging at the corner of his lip at her play on words. Even though it hadn't really been funny, at least she was trying. And, besides, she was _there_. "Not bad," he offered.

"Ya think?" she asked, her own smile breaking free. As he crossed to stand next to her, she added, "You know, sir, if you keep showing up like this, people are going to start to wonder."

He shrugged. "And I care…?"

They'd discussed this often enough that he didn't have to remind her of the fact they weren't actually doing anything wrong. Defeated, she smiled at him. "Thank you," she said.

He returned her smile and winked. "Always. Now, you cleared to get out of here?"

"Yup. Dr. Lam's checked us all out and there don't seem to be any residual effects from the device. I'm good to go." She slipped off the edge of the bed to stand next to him.

"Where are the others?" he asked as they headed out the door and into the hall.

She cocked an eyebrow at him. "Where do you think?"

"Is it dinner time already?"

She laughed and rolled her eyes. "Always. Have you _met _them?"

They had reached the elevators and he paused, his finger poised over the button. "They're not expecting you, are they?"

"Nyah. I told them I was headed home. Things to do… ."

He punched the 'up' button. "People to call?"

"Person," she corrected, smiling up at him. Her smile warmed him like a physical touch. "Only, not anymore," she added as the elevator doors opened before them and they stepped inside.

"I hate phone calls, anyway," he observed… and immediately regretted it.

His tone had been casual, but she hadn't been fooled. She glanced sharply up at him; her smile wavered and broke. The fear and exhaustion she'd kept hidden for so long finally washed across her features. In a voice suddenly far too quiet, she agreed, "Me too."

He let his own mask slip completely, let her see his own desperate fears in the hours when she'd been missing.

She was in his arms even before the elevator doors were fully closed.


	18. Better Than Dreams

He stood alone in the darkened conference room, watching through the glass. In the room below, red HAZMAT-suited figures stepped out from the shimmering surface of the activated 'gate. They moved carefully down the metal ramp, quarantine stretchers suspended between them.

He tried not to think about how similar those pods were to coffins. Or how much the medics holding them looked like pall bearers.

Or how close she was to the real thing.

Again.

He failed.

A voice at his elbow broke through his thoughts before he could go too far down that path. "She'll be okay." He turned to find Hank Landry standing next to him; he hadn't even noticed his approach. "They all will be," the other man continued. "We've got enough equipment here to keep them alive until Caroline and her team can figure out a cure."

"I know. I'm not…"

Hank snorted gently and shook his head. "You might be able to fool some people, Jack, but I've known you for a very long time."

"Then you'll know…." he began, but Hank cut him off again.

"I've had a HAZMAT suit sent to your quarters. She'll be in Isolation Room Two."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

He sat in the quiet infirmary room, watching over her as she slept. She seemed so fragile, her face nearly translucent beneath her tousled blonde hair. The need to touch her, to feel her warm and alive beneath his hand was impossible to resist, but then, he no longer had to. Not simply because she was finally really _his_, though he still occasionally had to fight the urge to pull back as though every caress remained forbidden. The instinct was especially powerful here, back at the SGC where his defenses had always remained strongest and hardest to maintain.

More importantly, though, the scientists had finally found a cure; he had been permitted to take off his protective suit. The hours of waiting anonymously in the corner while the doctor and her team had worked, uncertain if Sam would _ever_ wake up, were finally over. The doc had assured him that her sleep was finally natural.

Jack reached out to brush back a few of the stray strands which had fallen across her forehead. He rested his hand on her shoulder. Her warmth beneath his hand, the gentle rise and fall of her chest, and each breath whispered through softly parted lips promised she would awake and be all right.

Eventually, after what seemed an eternity of waiting, Sam stirred in the bed; her eyes opened and she scanned the room, clearly disoriented. "Hi," he said, drawing her attention.

Her eyes found him in the semi-dark. "Hi," she echoed, a faint smile tracking across her features as she focused on him. Then she added, as if by afterthought, "Sir."

He smiled in response, allowing all his relief at her recovery to show on his face. "We're alone, here… _Sam__._" He gestured around the empty room to emphasize his point.

"Old habits. Sorry, _Jack_." Her smile grew.

Suddenly the room wasn't quite so dark.

She really was okay.

He felt his smile grow to match hers. "That's better." He moved to sit down beside her on the bed and took her hand in his own. Lifting it to his lips, he gently kissed her knuckles in a gesture of respect as ancient as the human race. Murmuring past their linked fingers, he asked, "How do you feel?"

"Tired, still, but other than that, pretty good." Remembering still more, she asked, "What about Daniel? And Teal'c and Cam? They were up at the cave…"

"They're fine. Like you, they just need to sleep now. In fact," he added, knowing she wouldn't easily go back to sleep without more information, "Teal'c and Mitchell found a little friend that seems to be the key – along with your research, of course – to saving your collective asses. Doctor Lam could probably tell you more; it's all geek to me."

Jack's intentional verbal slip got the intended response. She giggled.

It was the best sound he'd heard in days; it made everything else worthwhile.

Her laughter was interrupted by a very large yawn.

"See?" he said. 'Sleep."

She grinned sheepishly. "Yes, sir." Her eyes drifted shut as if of their own accord. But she didn't release his hand.

Within minutes, her breathing had returned to the gentle rhythms of sleep.

Jack remained where he sat, watching as she slept.

Sam really was okay; all the fear and anxiety of the last few days were now nothing more than the ghosts of memories.

He'd always hated hospitals and infirmaries. Nothing would ever change that. But right at that moment, Sam's hand clasping his even in sleep, he couldn't imagine being anywhere else.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

She drifted awake, thoughts coming slowly through the lingering haze of sleep. Her head felt stuffed with cotton, her limbs heavy after so long in bed.

And she wasn't alone.

He lay stretched against her side despite the narrowness of the infirmary bed, one arm sprawled across her shoulders, their legs in a tangle. Holding onto her even in sleep.

She shifted, curling closer into his embrace and his arm tightened around her.

The musky scent of him filled her senses.

She was home.


End file.
